gameofchrons:

is this what having a penis is like 

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(Source: hanukkahlewinsky)

You do not need pasta.
Me laying in bed talking to myself at 1:30 in the morning  (via seabelle)

littlemammal:

at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”


(Source: )

mellarkish:

"birth control violates religious beliefs" yea ok but remember that thing called the separation of church and state

savannahblair:

i hate when people ask “who you tryna look good for?!” bitch myself bye

I found my roommate’s twitter…

egobus:

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wow i really got around on the second day of school

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i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything

…I don’t even drink alcohol 

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i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music 

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i don’t even have her number????????????